You Won`t Miss Me

These days, I wear a tea cosy on my head. I don`t care one whit what people think. Which  is, in itself, tremendously liberating.

Mum, why are you wearing a tea cosy on your head?

It`s not a tea cosy, son. It`s a thick cream fleecy hat. And it`s very warm.

Sorry, Mum, but you look ridiculous.

And what`s with the fairy lights? Christmas isn`t for another forty eight days, Mum.

Aaarrgghhhh! You said it!

What?

The C word. You know how much that word hurts me, son.

Sorry Mum. But you do look like – well, you know – a C tree, with all those flashing lights on your arms and legs.

But Mum, I just want you to know, that when you go off on your run, I`ll miss you.

Ah, thank you son! That`s sweet!

Sure, Mum. I`ll miss you. But nobody else will. Not in that get up.

Snigger-

But it`s true. Much though I hate November, it does present an opportunity for overdressing and overilluminating for these long dark cold nights. An opportunity not to be missed.

Thermals are de riguer of course. And luminous tops. In fact, I`ll do anything and everything to maxmize luminosity. This Red Hen must be seen. I`ve luminous green compression socks. I wear `em outside my black leggings. I`m sure that does nothing for the compression factor, but it works wonders on the viewing capabilities of passing drivers. Yep, I cannot be missed.

Then there`s the lights. You`ll pick them up in Aldi. Just Velcro luminous armbands the studded with flashing lights. The light aspect is optional of course -there is a little switch embedded in the band. But naturally,being me, I opt for the constant flashing mode.  And have four such bands-one for each wing, the other two for my legs.

I may be incognito in the cyber world, but in reality, I like to be seen.

Then, there`s the fleece.  I crave fleece. I`ve got seven fleece jackets. One for every day of the week. I am aiming for three hundred and sixty five.

And finally there`s the tea cosy.

My mother used to wear a tea cosy. Only hers was a lurid fairisle knit. She wore it everywhere-in town, watching the TV, doing the crossword. I suspect it even doubled as a shower cap from time to time.

For teen me, it was a massive embarrassment.

But now, I get it.  She never had a bad hair day. Or even a bad hair moment. Not as long as she had her tea cosy. And she was always warm.

Who needs a man when you have a tea cosy? Right? Right.

Anyway, here`s the luminous line up that rocks Red Hens running route these days….

Ta-Daaa!

Running Gear

If you see me trotting around your neck of the woods, beep your car horn.

I can assure you, you won`t miss me…

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17 thoughts on “You Won`t Miss Me

  1. Like your commenters I just don’t understand those joggers dressed in black that loom out at you at the last second. They are practically invisible to cyclists, cars etc. I’ve been leading a pretty large group recently and we’ve been joking that the Great Wall of China and Jersey Joggers are visible from space 🙂 No tea cosies though.

    • Have to say, all that reflective gear is so widely available now, there`s no excuse. I`m a bit disappointed about the absence of tea cosies in Jersey though. Would`ve thought, what with all your jerseys and Guernsey sweaters, there`d be a rich tradition in knitting there…

  2. I loved this. Read it while having my breakfast and it has set me off on a happy note. The thought of your mother with her tea cosy welded to her head is just hilarious, as is the dialogue with your son.
    I had a tea cosy once which looked like a pig (don’t ask), and when my son was small he used to run round the house with it on his head, snorting.

  3. My pet peeve is people out and about at night with dark clothing on. So I would LOVE you! My winter running beanie is the same colour as your jacket, madam hates it!

  4. I’m a great fan of fluoro and lights for night running. Your outfit looks fantastic! And as for tea cosies, they are a must. My husband wears a beanie all year around on the farm…he says it keeps him warm in winter, the sun off in summer, the cow poo out of his hair when he’s milking and it is also a crash helmet (of dubious quality in my opinion) for the quad bike. I go for a cap with a headband which I’m told by one of my offspring is very daggy looking! Don’t care, it’s warm and fluoro too. I bet you look great in all that bright gear Red Hen! Loved your post, a beanie as a shower cap… must suggest that to Husband!

  5. Very funny, but wise choices for these ever shorter days. My speed work group had its first session in the dark this week. We came out in a variety of headlamps, knuckle lights and clip-on flashlights – and yes, iridescent green.

  6. This made me laugh a lot! I have a horrible black fleece tea cosy hat. Though it has been put to one side now, as I was persuaded by my daughter to buy myself a hat that fitted. The tea cosy is too big, so it really does look dreadful – but it was warm because I could pull it right down over my ears to keep the wind out.

    I haven’t seen anyone with those flashing lights yet, though I did see a dog with a flashing collar a few weeks ago. That seemed quite a good idea too.

    • Oohhh, hadn`t thought of wearing those armbands around my neck… Now, there`s an idea! 😉 As to oversized fleece cap, well, it looks even more tea cosyish if it`s extra large of course!

      Gotta love getting older and not giving a damn,though.

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