These days, I wear a tea cosy on my head. I don`t care one whit what people think. Which is, in itself, tremendously liberating.
Mum, why are you wearing a tea cosy on your head?
It`s not a tea cosy, son. It`s a thick cream fleecy hat. And it`s very warm.
Sorry, Mum, but you look ridiculous.
And what`s with the fairy lights? Christmas isn`t for another forty eight days, Mum.
Aaarrgghhhh! You said it!
The C word. You know how much that word hurts me, son.
Sorry Mum. But you do look like – well, you know – a C tree, with all those flashing lights on your arms and legs.
But Mum, I just want you to know, that when you go off on your run, I`ll miss you.
Ah, thank you son! That`s sweet!
Sure, Mum. I`ll miss you. But nobody else will. Not in that get up.
But it`s true. Much though I hate November, it does present an opportunity for overdressing and overilluminating for these long dark cold nights. An opportunity not to be missed.
Thermals are de riguer of course. And luminous tops. In fact, I`ll do anything and everything to maxmize luminosity. This Red Hen must be seen. I`ve luminous green compression socks. I wear `em outside my black leggings. I`m sure that does nothing for the compression factor, but it works wonders on the viewing capabilities of passing drivers. Yep, I cannot be missed.
Then there`s the lights. You`ll pick them up in Aldi. Just Velcro luminous armbands the studded with flashing lights. The light aspect is optional of course -there is a little switch embedded in the band. But naturally,being me, I opt for the constant flashing mode. And have four such bands-one for each wing, the other two for my legs.
I may be incognito in the cyber world, but in reality, I like to be seen.
Then, there`s the fleece. I crave fleece. I`ve got seven fleece jackets. One for every day of the week. I am aiming for three hundred and sixty five.
And finally there`s the tea cosy.
My mother used to wear a tea cosy. Only hers was a lurid fairisle knit. She wore it everywhere-in town, watching the TV, doing the crossword. I suspect it even doubled as a shower cap from time to time.
For teen me, it was a massive embarrassment.
But now, I get it. She never had a bad hair day. Or even a bad hair moment. Not as long as she had her tea cosy. And she was always warm.
Who needs a man when you have a tea cosy? Right? Right.
Anyway, here`s the luminous line up that rocks Red Hens running route these days….
If you see me trotting around your neck of the woods, beep your car horn.
I can assure you, you won`t miss me…